The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
The lady at the Humaine Society gave me her nephew's number because I seem like a loving and caring person.
Does she know that each time you've adopted a new cat in the past year it's because some guy stopped fucking you and you don't want to eat your feelings?
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
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