I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
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