Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
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