i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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