Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Randomize
