I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
Randomize
