He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
Randomize
