Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
All I want is dick and wine.
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
Randomize
