As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
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