Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
Randomize