you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
Randomize
