On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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