I cant find my shoes, my wallet, or my keys, but i know where your sister is.
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
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