They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
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