...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
Randomize
