dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
Randomize
