Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
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