Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
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