I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
Randomize
