it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
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