and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
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