I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
Randomize
