I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
Randomize
