What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
Randomize
