I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
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