My dream in life is to scissor with Ellen. I don't care if I've got a dick. I'll make it work.
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
Randomize
