You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
Randomize
