Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
He told everyone he was freezing their keys so they couldn't drive drunk. When I opened the freezer this morning, my keys were at the bottom of an unfrozen ice cream tub of vodka.
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
Randomize
