Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
Randomize
