pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
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