Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
I need water and some morals
Randomize
