I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
My life is pants optional.
we should paint friendship bongs
Randomize
