i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
Randomize
