i just saw a homeless guy running after a pigeon, catch it and put it in his jacket pocket. I'm not sure if the bird is now his pet or dinner!
Omg. Well, welcome to Oakland...
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
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