Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
I got married tonight..
I'd like to first of all congratulate you on your marriage. Secondly, probably one of the best drunk texts I've ever received. Unless you were sober, then that text was awkward.
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
Randomize
