I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
Randomize
