Fine. I'll sleep in my office
I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.
I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
Randomize