glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
Randomize
