i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
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