i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
My breakfast consisted of a slimfast and an adderal. My fridge is like an insecurity buffet.
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize