Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
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