it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Randomize
