As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
Randomize