Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
I just want nice things and good sex
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
Randomize
