Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
Man, jail baloney is awful.
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
Randomize
