Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
I miss vodka workout Fridays
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
Randomize
