so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
Randomize