absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
