covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
So for two years my friend Mark has been building a catapult in his basement. Yesterday he realized it's too big to get it out.
You need to give me a reason immediately why he is your friend.
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
