lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
Randomize
