is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
The cleaning lady has a form she makes me sign every time she finds me passed out in my office so she can keep track of how much to charge me each month for keeping quiet about it.
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
Randomize