Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
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