recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
