there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
Randomize
