rhymes with "ouble enetration"
You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Randomize
