i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
You don't know being judged until its 7:30 in the morning and you're on 2 hours of sleep halfway between drunk and hungover wearing pajama pants at an international airport while saying how proud you are that you found the airport's bar immediately and how disappointed you are that it's closed
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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