Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
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