i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
Randomize
