well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
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