Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
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