ya dads aren't the best wingmen
I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
She bit a glass in half.
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
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