my sisters under your porch take her home
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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