Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
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