Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
